Why does this happen to me? Do I deserve this because of all the bad things I do? Doesn't the good that I do count for something? Shouldn't it be balanced out? Why do I resist change so much that it physically hurts? Why am I so affected, both physically and emotionally by this??! ie. panic attacks

A little to much to handle

Ugh, my lack of blogging-ness is annoying even me.

And it's not that there isn't anything to blog about, it's because there's just too much to blog about. Just thinking about the amazing experiences I've been having makes me too lazy and too tired to blog.

So for now I'm going to say this much, 'I can't see clearly yet, the rain has not left. I'm still confused.'

Loveliness...